Posted in college, Relationships and Dating

16 Clear Signs of a Toxic Relationship (part 2 of 2)

If you haven’t read part 1, you can find it here. I’ll skip the intro, and get right into it. Here are 8 more signs your partner is toxic.

8. You are Always Doing Things for Them

Does the person you’re with constantly need your help? Is it impossible for them to do one simple task without you? Whether you contribute physically, emotionally, mentally, financially, etc., if your partner is leaning on you so much that you wonder how they’d survive without you, you should think about if your relationship is co-dependent. This is actually a serious issue, because one person taking care of the other is babysitting, not dating/marriage.

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9. You’re Always Making Excuses for Your Partner

Okay but… it wasn’t like that… they really meant… maybe they just… but… STOP.

Stop making excuses for your partner- to yourself, to them, to your friends and family. This especially happens with cheating, and it makes me so, so sad.

Examples include:

  • They kissed someone else but they were drunk
  • They cheated on you but you haven’t had sex in a month
  • They yelled at you but they had a bad day
  • They won’t get a job but you can support them
  • They won’t quit a bad habit but it could be worse
  • They’re toxic for you but you love them.
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10. You Often Feel Jealous (when you’re not a jealous person)

If you’re not a jealous person, and you find yourself feeling suspicious, jealous, or insecure about your relationship or your partner, it’s not you, it’s them. You should only ever be jealous of yourself, because your relationship is that damn amazing.

11.They’re Always Insecure About Other People

Your friends. Your co-workers. Especially your best friend (unless they’re of the opposite gender). If you can’t live your social life without them constantly peering over your shoulder, that’s a sign that maybe they don’t trust you. If you’ve never cheated on them or otherwise hurt them and betrayed their trust, then their lack of trust is a warning sign. Relationships without trust are superficial.

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12. They Always Seem to be Making You Cry

I”m going to be honest. I’m a crybaby. I cry a lot. Like all the time. I have depression, anxiety, ptsd, and I’m just a sensitive person. My SO is always there for me, no matter how “dumb” it may seem. Your partner should love you, and because of this they should hate to see you cry. If they’re constantly starting fights, picking on you, lying to you, embarrassing you, or otherwise doing something repetitively that makes you cry, do you really think that they love you in a healthy way? That is not the type of love you want, or deserve. Trust me. You deserve to be treated like royalty, not just even, but especially when you cry.

13. Everyone Around You Tells You That You’re too Good for Your Partner

I have struggled with this many times. If people are constantly telling you “you could do so much better!”, “why are you with them?”, or “what do you see in them?”, maybe it’s time to assess what both of you are bringing to the table. Relationships should be equally beneficial.

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14. They Repeat the Same “Mistakes”

Even though it hurts you, and they say it won’t happen again, every time. Nevertheless, sooner or later, they always return to their mistake. I’ve always said “If it happens once, it can be a mistake. If it happens again, it was a choice.” The person who takes you for granted is not a person who loves you correctly. You know, I know, they know. Everybody knows.

15. You Think that You can Change Them

Yeah, this never works. Dating someone and cleaning up someones life or changing who they are or what they believe never works out. Of course, you will change and adapt and share commonalities and similar interests, but dating someone on the basis that they will change is a disaster waiting to happen.

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16. You Have to Vent About Them

Of course, we all need to rant. If you never vent about your relationship, I don’t even know what to tell you. But if you call up a different friend every night to vent, or your friends expect you to complain or cry about your relationship, what are you doing in it?!? Relationships are not supposed to add baggage to your life. There will be drama, but not all the time. If you find yourself complaining a considerable amount about your SO, it might be time to re-evaluate why you are with them.

Posted in college, Uncategorized

How to Study to Ace Your Finals (10 Steps)

Studying is the literal worst. I am a HUGE procrastinator, so actually sitting down and studying is nearly impossible. Unfortunately, in college, studying is key to passing your classes. To make it even better, final exams are coming up. How are you planning on studying? If you can just go over your notes, or read from your textbook, well, good for you! I definitely lack the perseverance (and the attention span) to do that. If you’re more like me, keep reading because I’m about to give you some great tips to help you ace your exams.

1. Start Early

Getting an early start to studying can really help you retain information in the long run. I don’t mean a few hours- I mean a few DAYS. This will give you time to fully process all the information that you’ll want to remember. Start studying approximately a week before your exam.

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2. Don’t Cram

I repeat: DO NOT CRAM!!! Cramming is one of the worst things you could possibly do for yourself. This goes along with starting early. Even if somehow your brain does process and remember all of the information you shoved in your brain, you’ll be mentally exhausted for your exam. Your brain needs time to remember things. Be kind to yourself.

3. Long Breaks

Don’t time yourself, it never works out. “5 more minutes” is easy to say, and can just as easily turn into an hour. Short breaks just don’t do it for me. They just add to my ability to get easily distracted. Give yourself 1 activity (ie. watching a single episode of a show- not a show you usually binge) and stick to it. If I’m watching a show, it’s much harder to say “30 more minutes” to watch another episode.

Keep in mind, this may not work for everyone. I like long breaks because it feels like an actual break and gives my mind some time to relax. Short breaks just give me enough time to realize how tired my brain is before getting back to work.

4. Remove ALL Distractions

Yes, including your phone. Make sure you house/roommates know that you’re studying and will be needing some quiet. Turn off the tv, and don’t listen to music with lyrics. I find video game soundtracks give studying a cool vibe. Be sure that the area that you are studying in is cleaned off and free of anything you don’t need to study. But seriously, turn off your phone and put it in a drawer.

5. Take Care of Your Needs Prior to Studying

Eat a snack. Drink some water. Pee. Get the AC to your liking. This way, you won’t keep interrupting your studying to get up to do things.

6. Organize Your Notes

Your notes matter a lot. Not only does writing something down help you remember it better, but it also gives you something to look over. They should be legible, organized, maybe even color coded. You can add a pop of color and highlight important information in your notes with different styles of sticky notes. I love this set because of all the different styles and uses it has. Also, I just love sticky notes. The best way to take good notes is to pretend like you are taking notes for someone else. You want them to be easy to read, and easy to get information from.

Tip: Long paragraphs/sentences are harder for your brain to focus on. Keep your words, sentences, and paragraphs short for easier reading.

7. Watch Videos

Watching videos on a topic or subject can really help you retain information. Youtube is a great platform, it has videos on everything. I personally like taking notes on videos because I can pause it to give me time to take nice notes. You can also rewatch things that don’t make sense.

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8. Use the Review

Not the review. ANYTHING but the review. I get it. It’s long. Boring. You’re pretty sure the professor didn’t even teach you this stuff. But it is the easiest way to know what the test will be like. And if you’ll do well on it. Which is kinda the point. Plus, your poor professor put all that time and effort into writing all 500 pages of the review. Or was it 5? It felt like a lot more.

9. Tutoring

There, I said it. If you’re really struggling with a subject or certain material, most schools have some sort of free tutoring. It may be over Zoom at the moment because of the pandemic, but it’s better than nothing. I speak from experience when I tell you that it is actually helpful 90% of the time.

10. Set Achievable Goals

If you’re like me and have test anxiety, trying to remember every single little detail about a subject can be your downfall. Don’t try to remember everything. You’ll exhaust yourself and ultimately, waste time.

Now go, absorb knowledge so that you can forget it after you take your exam. Let me know in the comments if you have any studying hacks that I didn’t list on here. I believe in you, work hard and you will pass!

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