Posted in college, Relationships and Dating

16 Clear Signs of a Toxic Relationship (part 2 of 2)

If you haven’t read part 1, you can find it here. I’ll skip the intro, and get right into it. Here are 8 more signs your partner is toxic.

8. You are Always Doing Things for Them

Does the person you’re with constantly need your help? Is it impossible for them to do one simple task without you? Whether you contribute physically, emotionally, mentally, financially, etc., if your partner is leaning on you so much that you wonder how they’d survive without you, you should think about if your relationship is co-dependent. This is actually a serious issue, because one person taking care of the other is babysitting, not dating/marriage.

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9. You’re Always Making Excuses for Your Partner

Okay but… it wasn’t like that… they really meant… maybe they just… but… STOP.

Stop making excuses for your partner- to yourself, to them, to your friends and family. This especially happens with cheating, and it makes me so, so sad.

Examples include:

  • They kissed someone else but they were drunk
  • They cheated on you but you haven’t had sex in a month
  • They yelled at you but they had a bad day
  • They won’t get a job but you can support them
  • They won’t quit a bad habit but it could be worse
  • They’re toxic for you but you love them.
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10. You Often Feel Jealous (when you’re not a jealous person)

If you’re not a jealous person, and you find yourself feeling suspicious, jealous, or insecure about your relationship or your partner, it’s not you, it’s them. You should only ever be jealous of yourself, because your relationship is that damn amazing.

11.They’re Always Insecure About Other People

Your friends. Your co-workers. Especially your best friend (unless they’re of the opposite gender). If you can’t live your social life without them constantly peering over your shoulder, that’s a sign that maybe they don’t trust you. If you’ve never cheated on them or otherwise hurt them and betrayed their trust, then their lack of trust is a warning sign. Relationships without trust are superficial.

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12. They Always Seem to be Making You Cry

I”m going to be honest. I’m a crybaby. I cry a lot. Like all the time. I have depression, anxiety, ptsd, and I’m just a sensitive person. My SO is always there for me, no matter how “dumb” it may seem. Your partner should love you, and because of this they should hate to see you cry. If they’re constantly starting fights, picking on you, lying to you, embarrassing you, or otherwise doing something repetitively that makes you cry, do you really think that they love you in a healthy way? That is not the type of love you want, or deserve. Trust me. You deserve to be treated like royalty, not just even, but especially when you cry.

13. Everyone Around You Tells You That You’re too Good for Your Partner

I have struggled with this many times. If people are constantly telling you “you could do so much better!”, “why are you with them?”, or “what do you see in them?”, maybe it’s time to assess what both of you are bringing to the table. Relationships should be equally beneficial.

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14. They Repeat the Same “Mistakes”

Even though it hurts you, and they say it won’t happen again, every time. Nevertheless, sooner or later, they always return to their mistake. I’ve always said “If it happens once, it can be a mistake. If it happens again, it was a choice.” The person who takes you for granted is not a person who loves you correctly. You know, I know, they know. Everybody knows.

15. You Think that You can Change Them

Yeah, this never works. Dating someone and cleaning up someones life or changing who they are or what they believe never works out. Of course, you will change and adapt and share commonalities and similar interests, but dating someone on the basis that they will change is a disaster waiting to happen.

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16. You Have to Vent About Them

Of course, we all need to rant. If you never vent about your relationship, I don’t even know what to tell you. But if you call up a different friend every night to vent, or your friends expect you to complain or cry about your relationship, what are you doing in it?!? Relationships are not supposed to add baggage to your life. There will be drama, but not all the time. If you find yourself complaining a considerable amount about your SO, it might be time to re-evaluate why you are with them.

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